(Welcome to Part 2 of the "By Union of a Wish!" MSTing, a Stormwind Graphics Production!)

 Mike Nelson leaned back in his chair, idly sipping at his coffee while the world slipped by below, bathed in brilliant sunlight. It looked like a beautiful day across North America, and Mike longed for the idyllic days of college, when he could skip lightly through the grass...
 "Mike?" 
 Mike looked around and saw Gypsy standing there. "Oh, hi, Gyps. Just killing some time until we have to go back to the theater. It's a pretty Earth out there tonight, isn't it?"
 "Sure is, Mike," Gypsy replied, "but you may want to check on Allegra."
 "Oh, no. She's not fighting with Crow again, is she?"
 "No, Crow and Tom are in the Holocabana playing Kill All Monsters. Allegra's on the bridge, reading."
 "What's wrong with that?" Mike asked.
 "Well...you'll see."
 Mike got up and went to the bridge, wondering what kind of weird thing was going on now. Though Allegra was attractive, she seemed so young to Mike, so he treated her like a younger sister. She certainly didn't seem to mind. Besides, the whole vampire/werewolf thing definitely put Mike off. He had seen too many old movies and knew what would happen if he were to get involved with Allegra.
 Allegra was sitting on the bridge, her back to the console, reading a book. Mike glanced at the title. It was "A Farewell to Arms." 
 "Hi, Allegra," Mike said.
 "Hm? Oh, hi, Mike."
 "You like Hemingway?"
 "Oh, not really. But you can only read so much of manga, and Tom had this lying around, so I decided to pick it up. Something going on?"
 "Nah. I'm sure Fanfic Sign is just around the corner, so I just thought I'd get a jump on the competition," Mike finished lamely.
 "I'd better freshen up, then."
 "You feeling okay? The fic seemed to really get to you."
 Allegra smiled as she got up and stretched. "Aah, I'm fine. I just hate getting interrupted. If I gotta see these fics, I might as well derive SOME enjoyment out of them..." She waved at Mike as she walked off. "Ja ne."
 "Later." Mike picked up the book, glanced at it, and set it on the bridge console. Just then, Crow and Tom came in. Crow had a hachimaki tied around his head.
 "What the hell kinda attack is that, Crow?" Tom was saying.
 "It worked, didn't it? Now we can advance to the Mothra stage!"
 Tom inclined his dome in Crow's direction. "Mike? You know what this lunatic did? He kamikazed his F-15 into Rodan to kill it!"
 "Sounds reasonable," Mike shrugged.
 "Yeah, until Rodan's carcass landed on Shinjuku and destroyed it! We're supposed to be protecting the city, not wrecking it!"
 "Big deal," Crow grumped. "We only lost a thousand points. We can make that up by taking out Godzooky again."
 Mike bent down to whisper to the Bots. "Look, guys. We need to watch Allegra close during the fic. If she starts to freak out, hide or something."
 "She seemed okay to me," Crow said. "She was reading when we went to the Holocabana."
 "Crow..." Mike paused for dramatic effect. "The book was upside down and backwards."
 The klaxons and lights predictably went off at that point, scaring the hell out of them. "OHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" they shouted.

(Door Sequence, ad nauseum, ad infinitum)

Allegra: You know, that air grate is kinda cool. Just a good thing I wasn't wearing that Miko Mido outfit.
(Crow sighs wistfully.)
Mike: Remember, Crow, try to resist.
Crow: Right. Bring it on!

>Two Hearts as One

Tom: Oh, an Ah My Goddess crossover with 80s songs.

>Urd felt herself slowly waking, feeling as if her head was being >slammed against a rock face repeatedly.

Mike: Ow! Well, that's descriptive of a hangover.
Allegra: Either that, or Skuld's finally gone nuts.

>"Shit, another one of those nights last night," she thought.  

Crow (Urd): I need to lay off the catnip.

>Grumbling to herself, she put on a robe and went out into the living >room.

Mike (Urd): Oh my head...my feet hitting the carpet sure are loud this morning...

>Keiichi and Belldandy were asleep, arms wrapped around each other, >heads cradled on each other's shoulders.

Allegra: Keiichi shoots, he scores!

>"Oh.  Guess it *wasn't* another one of those nights." said Urd.

Mike: A Midsummer Night's Dream?
Tom: Knight Rider?
Crow: A Knight's Tale?
Allegra: Nights in White Satin?

>Not a sound, they must be really out.  

Crow: Go Fish will do that to you.
Allegra: I get the feeling that Go Fish was not the game they were playing.
Crow: Yeah, but I'm trying to not think about that.

>Urd decided that she hadn't played a joke on Keiichi for some time; >and besides, she couldn't resist an opportunity like this.

Mike: Bitch.

>"Yo, Keiichi!  Your mother is outside!" she exclaimed.
>Keiichi set the record for the vertical leap, almost cracking his head >on the ceiling.  

(Everyone holds up signs. Mike: 6.0. Allegra: 5.9. Tom (on his dome): 5.8. Crow: 3:16.)

>"Mom!  I can explain!  I...uhhh..."

Tom (Keiichi): It's strictly platonic!
Allegra (Keiichi's Mom): Oh? Why are her clothes off?
Tom (Keiichi): Uh...air conditioning is out?

>Keiichi slowly came back to himself, 

Crow: They did it so much that Keiichi had an out of body experience! Belldandy really IS a goddess!

>and glared at Urd.  Then he noticed Belldandy slowly waking up, and >turned to her.  "Are you OK this morning, Belldandy?"

Tom (Keiichi): As opposed to yesterday, when I obliterated your alarm clock?

>She smiled up at him.  "I don't think I've ever been better, Keiichi->san. 

Allegra: Oh, the freshly f--
(Mike growls. Rather convincingly.)
Allegra (turning her head and showing throat): F-Feeling. Yes, Belldandy has a fresh feeling this morning.
Mike: Well, what do you know. Never thought all those nature shows would come in handy up here.

>Oh, my goodness!  

Tom: No, Oh My Goddess. That's you, Belldandy.

>I overslept!  I...why are we out here?"

Allegra (Belldandy): And why is Keiichi wearing my panties?

>"I guess we fell asleep on the couch last night.  Um...I didn't try >anything, if that's what you--"

Crow: All that and he didn't, you know?
Mike: Hey, the man has morals.
Crow: Darn. I thought this was a lemon.

>"Oh, Keiichi-san, don't be silly!  

Tom: Trix are for kids!

>I was just curious.  

Allegra: That statement is full of possibilities...
Mike: Which we won't explore.

>Oh, I have to get breakfast ready!"  And with that, she rushed into >the kitchen.
>Urd watched all of this with a vaguely annoyed expression on her face. 

Crow (Droopy): I don't like you.

>Didn't she just try to get Keiichi mad, as she always did?  And how >did he react?

Allegra: The same way Keiichi always does. Blank stare.

>As soon as Belldandy woke, it was as if Urd wasn't there.  

Tom (Urd): Nobody likes me anymore! Waaah!!

>Urd sighed, and felt the anger go away, to be replaced by the >depression that she had become more familiar with.  Why shouldn't she >be surprised? Keiichi and Belldandy had just declared their love for >each other.  Surely they would be hard pressed to focus on anyone else >at the moment.

Mike: This fic is so sweet that I'm probably getting fat just reading it.

>Urd needed to cheer herself up, and fast.  

Tom (Urd): I know! I'll knock a small planet out of its orbit! That always works!

>She decided to go to her second favorite target.  

Allegra: But Shinji Ikari was out of town.

>Unfortunately, Skuld's room was empty.  Urd frowned, and walked up to >the alarm clock.
>"Hey!  Mr. Alarm, or Mr. Timer, or whatever the hell she calls you. >Where's Skuld?"

Mike (Mr. Alarm): I don't know. I'm just the freakin' alarm clock.

>The alarm beeped once before answering.  "Mistress Skuld left the >temple early this morning.  She left specific instructions not to tell >you where she had gone."

Crow (Mr. Alarm): So you can bite me!

>Kenji, Urd thought.  The rest of last night was starting to come back >to her.  

Allegra: Urd...you really need to stop drinking.

>This was going to be rough on the both of them.  After all, finding >out that the person you love has kept the most important part of her >existence from you...

Crow: So, Allegra...
Allegra (fangs out): WHAT?
Crow: Uh...do you like Ernest Hemingway?

>Urd finally surrendered to the black mood that had been threatening >for the past few minutes.  

Tom: Urd was later arraigned in district court. In a moment, the results of that trial.

>Keiichi and Belldandy, Kenji and Skuld, she thought.  Wandering into >the kitchen, she went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of sake.

Allegra (Urd): Yeah, Keiichi has Bell and Kenji has Skuld, but I have TWO friends! Jack Daniels and Bacardi!

>Belldandy looked at her in surprise.  "Sister!  It's only eight o >clock!  Don't you think..."  She trailed off as she saw the expression >in Urd's eyes.

Mike (Urd): Today is a good day to die, Belldandy.

>"I know what time it is, Belldandy.  And I'll thank you to let my go >about my day the way I want to."

Crow: She's already drunk!
Tom: Urd will be played today by the alien ship captain in Project A-ko.
Allegra: Save the booze! Save the booze!

>And with that, Urd climbed up to the roof, where she lay down, looked >up at the sky, and took a long slug from the bottle.

Crow (Urd): Cuervo, take me away!

>***

Mike: Three slugs of sake and Urd's seeing stars.

>Skuld walked towards Kenji's apartment with an equal mixture of fear >and excitement in her heart.  She was excited every time she saw >Kenji, and that had still not changed.  But after last night, the fear >that he would hate her fused in her heart, and still refused to let >her go.

Allegra: Uh oh. She might have some kind of weird demon burst from her chest at any point.
Mike: That's dark.
Allegra: No, that's anime.

>So she decided to go to him.  In order to explain, and to show him >that *she* could take the initial step in putting things right, that >she cared about their friendship.

Tom: And if he didn't care...well, she still had her mallet.

>If there was a friendship any more.
>She went up to his room and rang the bell.  

Crow (Lurch): You rang?

>She didn't feel like running away, but knew that if there was any >other way to put things right, she would take it.
>Kenji answered the door.  He was still wearing the clothes that he had >on last night, and looked as if he had never even gone to bed. His >expression remained neutral as he saw her.

Mike: More like his brain is IN neutral.

>"Skuld.  Come on in."

Crow: You're the next contestant on "Kenji is Right!"

>Kenji left the door open for her as he walked back into his living >room.  Well, thought Skuld, at least he didn't slam the door in my >face.  Nevertheless, she could feel herself wavering at the door.  >Stop this, she thought. 

Tom: It's getting bad when even the characters want the fic to stop.

>You need to do this, more than anything.  If Keiichi could have the >courage to propose to a goddess, then surely she could muster up the >courage to heal her broken friendship.

All: SKULD! SKULD! SKULD!

>Skuld walked slowly into the room, 

All: YAAAAY!!!

>sitting down on the couch.  "Thank you, Kenji.  I--thank you for >allowing me into your home."

Tom: Skuld's a vampire! Aieee!
Allegra: Oh, please, Tom. Those are old wives' tales. Vampires don't need anyone's permission to go in someone's house...or room.
Tom: Uhhh...
Allegra: And the next time you add my underwear to your collection...

>"Well, I could hardly refuse you.  After all, you are a goddess."

Crow (Skuld): That's right! I wanna see some kowtowing!

>Skuld's temper flared.  "And so what if I am?  Do you think I'm going >to call a curse on your head if you don't do as I say?  

Tom: Well, actually...

>Do you really know so little about me?"
>"Apparently, I know very little about you, Skuld.  Everything about >you, everything I thought I understood, is now gone.  

Mike: He's taking this rather well. If a woman told me she was a goddess from heaven, I'd be looking into funny farms. For her.

>Why did you keep this from me?  Did you think I'd blurt it out to the >first person who came along?"

Crow (Kenji): Hey, guess what! My girlfriend's a goddess!
Tom (first person who came along): Well, good for you, pal!

>"Kenji, I couldn't tell *anyone*!  None of us could!  Even Keiichi's >sister didn't know about us until last night!  It's a secret that has >to be kept, no matter...no matter how much I wanted otherwise."

Allegra (Skuld): I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!
Mike: We already did the Top Gun skit.

>Kenji looked at her for a moment, his eyes unsure.  "So what sort of >goddess are you, anyway?"

Tom (Skuld): The Goddess of Death. Is that a problem?

>Skuld looked back at him, desperately trying to convince him with her >words.  "I am Skuld, the Norn goddess of the Future.  

Allegra (Skuld): Which means I should have seen this coming...

>My sister Belldandy is the goddess of the present, 

Crow: All right! Belldandy is Santa Claus!

>and Urd is the goddess of the past."

Mike (Skuld): So she knows what you did last summer.

>Kenji was intrigued, in spite of himself. 

Tom (Spock): Fascinating.

>"So you're responsible for the destinies of everybody on Earth?"

Allegra (Skuld): Yep. So I wouldn't be mean to me, if I were you.

>"Actually, no.  I suppose a more human term for us would be computer >programmers. 

Mike: This is like a techie's ultimate dream.

>Yggsdrassil, our main computer in heaven, does most of the work for >us.  We just have to watch over it.  That's mostly my job; I'm a >debugger back up in heaven."  Skuld unconsciously twirled her mallet.  

Crow: So she just whacks her computer with a mallet repeatedly when it doesn't work?
Allegra: Works for me.

>"Urd is the system administrator.  

Mike: No wonder there's so much porn on the internet.

>Belldandy used to write programs, but Kami-sama transferred her to the >Goddess Help Office a few years ago."

Tom (Skuld): Kami-sama caught her writing a program called Intercontinental Nuclear War. He wasn't happy.

>"So why are you here?  Doesn't heaven need you up there all the time?"
>"Well, there are a few apprentice debuggers who are doing my job, 

Mike: And that explains the whole Monica Lewinsky thing.

>and Yggsdrassil doesn't break down that often.  

Allegra (Skuld): But when it does...whew. Standing room only at the Pearly Gates.

>Besides...I was told by Kami-sama that I had to stay on Earth as a >surface trainee.  Apparently my people skills weren't all they could >have been."

Tom (Skuld): Kami-sama said I can't just hit people in the head to get the bugs out.

>"Yes, Keiichi told me about you visiting him in the bathtub like >that."

Crow: Whoa! Stop the fic!
Mike: Why?
Crow: Okay, Kenji didn't know that Skuld was a goddess.
Mike: Right.
Crow: So wouldn't he find the fact that Skuld was in Keiichi's bathtub just a little...WRONG?
(Suddenly Allegra screams and disappears, falling out of sight.)
Mike: Allegra! Holy--are you okay?
Allegra (climbing into her seat): Yeah. Just a plot hole.
(Facefaults all around.)

>Skuld blushed.

Allegra (Skuld): Yes, you could say Keiichi has no secrets with me. Well, maybe a small one...

>"But this was two years ago!  Can't you appeal to Kami-sama to let you >return to your duties?"

Crow (Kenji): Please, God! Call her back! Quick!

>"Actually, Kami-sama has told me that I can return any time I want. 

Mike: Y'know, heaven sounds like a neat place to work.

>But I've come to like it here on Earth. 

Tom (Skuld): Wars, plagues, famine...it's great!

>There's always fun things to do, I don't have as many responsibilities >weighing me down...I can be free when I'm down here.  I think that's >why Urd stays here, too."

Crow: That and the triple-X movie rentals.

>Kenji shuddered.  He tried to imagine the pressure a twelve-year-old >girl would feel if she was in charge of maintenance for the computer >that ran the world.  No wonder she had mood swings.

Mike: A twelve year old kid in charge of the world megacomputer? Kenji isn't the only one who shudders.
Crow: Does explain why the Ravens won the Super Bowl last year, though.

>"But despite all that, I was about ready to go back.  And then...

Allegra (Skuld): Heaven dot com closed and I was laid off.

>I met you."  Skuld was looking at the wall, trying to keep from seeing >Kenji's face.  "You...had an effect on me that no one ever has.  I >don't know what it was, exactly. 

Crow: I think humans call it puberty.

>I do know that you became my friend when I desperately needed one.  I >have so many mechanical friends that I invent, all of them talking and >smart, 

Allegra: Sounds like home sweet satellite, huh, Mike?
Mike: Yeah, but I didn't invent these guys.
Tom: And Crow isn't all that smart.
Crow: Hey!

>but...I don't really know how to make real friends.  I always screw it >up."
>She paused again.  Kenji was looking at the back of her head, and her >lustrous black hair. 

Tom: Kenji, turn her around. The rest of her looks pretty good, too.

>He wanted her to face him, wanted to be able to see her expression.
>"Kenji, I never meant to hurt you. 

Allegra (Skuld): Except for that time I brained you with my mallet, but that was just my way of saying hi. Just ask Keiichi.

>I'm sorry that I never told you about me...the real me.  But I haven't >been hiding my true self, Kenji.  I'm no different from the girl you >know, Kenji."  She turned, and smiled at him half-heartedly.  "It's >just that I'm a goddess."

Tom (Skuld): So, I'm just a really, REALLY powerful version of the girl you know.

>Skuld finished her explanation and turned to look at Kenji.  There was >still a great deal that he didn't know about her, but it could keep.  >If he wasn't ready to accept her now, what difference would the rest >make?

Crow: Besides, Kenji didn't really need to know about the night Urd introduced her to sake.

>She looked at Kenji.  He was so handsome, sitting there looking at >her.  After a few minutes, she said, "Kenji?  Is there...a problem?"

Mike (Kenji): Huh? Did you say something, Skuld? I sorta tuned all that out.

>Kenji finally spoke.  "Skuld, I...I had no idea that you were this >important.  I thought that we just had a nice, normal friendship. 

Allegra: In anime? There is such a thing?

>I can't just accept you again and go on as if nothing happened.  It's >impossible."
>Skuld felt her self-control beginning to give way.  

All: "You take my self/You take my self-control..."

>"I see.  Well, thank you for being honest, Kenji."  She got up to >leave, fighting back a sob.

Crow: Yeah, Kenji is a SOB.
Mike: That's not what the author meant.

>"Skuld, wait!  I'm not finished."  

Tom (Kenji): Let me puncture your ego some more!

>Kenji's voice cut through her haze. 

Mike: Jimi Hendrix?

>She sat again with a wary expression.
>"When you described the moment when we met...well, it was much the >same for me.  

Allegra (Skuld): You saw stained glass with four white roses rotating annoyingly around the limits of your vision?
Tom: Wrong series.
Allegra: I know, I know.

>When I first saw you there was something in my chest that just...

Tom: Shrivelled up and died.
Crow: Better than burst out.

>you were like no-one I'd never seen before.  I don't know if it was my >subconscious telling me you were a goddess, or..."

Mike: Too much chili the night before.

>Kenji sighed.  "There's no possible way to go back to what we once >had.  But...if you were to leave, 

All: "I won't cry/I won't waste one single day..."

>I don't think my life would be the same.  Every time we see each >other, I don't ever want you to go.  I can't possibly send you away.  >Can we...can we start over, maybe? 

Allegra (Skuld): You had your chance, buster!

>I promise never to do anything that would hurt you in any way.  I was >happy to be your friend when I thought you were a mortal, and I'm >happy to be so now that I know your true destiny.  And I hope...that >someday...maybe we can be more than friends."

Mike: He's remarkably calm about all this.
Tom: It's shock.

>Kenji sat back, exhausted.  Now it was his turn to wait, as Skuld sat >thinking about what he had said.  

(Crow makes hard drive processing noises.)

>He wondered if she could accept it. This was perhaps the closest he >had gotten to showing his feelings for her, and he was afraid that it >wouldn't be enough.
>Skuld looked up, and there were tears in her eyes.  "Yes, Kenji, I >would like to start again.  I...I don't know what I'd do without you >around.  There are times when I get really mad, 

Tom (Skuld): Then I hit Keiichi and feel much better.

>and then I think of 

Crow: Prozac.

>you, and I calm down.  

Crow: See?

>It doesn't matter to me that you're a mortal. You're my best friend."
>Kenji had to ask this next question.  

Allegra: Overruled. Next witness.

>"Skuld...if everything works out, do you think we could eventually >have something like your sister and Keiichi?"

Mike: Well, you need to wait a few years first.

>Skuld smiled.  "Not like them.  I'm nothing like my sister, nor do I >want to be.  

Crow: A total airhead? I don't blame you.
(Smoke begins to rise from Tom's dome.)
Crow: Just kidding, Tommy boy.

>But yes, Kenji, I do see that future for us.  I see it, and it shines >brighter than the others."

Allegra (Skuld): For we are the master race.

>And with that, they embraced each other with all their might. 

Tom: Test your might!

>Friends for now, but the promise for more now vocalized.  They held >each other for a long time, in relief and happiness.

Allegra: Awww...they're so cute together.
Crow: Borrrring. We need Godzilla to come along and liven things up.

>***

Mike: We're tired. Make up your own star joke.

>Keiichi sat in the courtyard, waiting for Belldandy to return.
>It had been a busy day.  After breakfast, Belldandy had gone up to >heaven, 

Mike: Oh my gosh! They killed Belldandy!
All: YOU BASTARDS!
Mike: Everybody feel better now?
Tom: Much.

>explaining that she needed to formally ask Kami-sama of this boon.  >She didn't see a problem, though.
>Keiichi had spent the morning taking care of a few things here on >Earth.  He had called his parents, and arranged a meeting tomorrow to >announce his marriage.  He knew his mother would go ballistic, but he >couldn't avoid it; they needed to be told.

Allegra: Well, they don't HAVE to be told...you could elope.

>He also called Tamiya and Ootaki, 

Tom: Named after Japanese plastic model companies. Their parents must've hated them.

>letting them know the news, and inviting them to the wedding.  They >didn't seem to be surprised at all; in fact, their main concern was >Keiichi's bachelor party, which they insisted on despite his protests.  

All: TO-GA! TO-GA! TO-GA!

>He also got a promise from them not to tell Sayoko and Aoshima until >the last possible moment; no sense inviting trouble.

Tom: In that case, you'd better leave Urd at home. Maybe Skuld, too. Hell, just leave the whole damn cast.

>With that done, he returned to the temple to await Belldandy. Despite >all the assurances she had given him, Keiichi feared what Kami-sama >would say.  

Mike: If you see fire and brimstone raining from the sky, that's a big "no."

>After all, he was trying to marry one of the best goddesses in heaven, >one of Kami-sama's closest confidants. Would this be allowed, even if >the two of them did love each other?
>Keiichi's train of thought 

Crow: Derailed.

>was interrupted by Belldandy coming out into the backyard.  There was >a smile on her face, but Keiichi immediately noticed that the smile >did not reach her eyes.  He reached out to her.  "What did the Lord >say?"

Allegra: Read the Bible, dummy.

>Belldandy smiled at him.  "He has given me permission to marry you, >Keiichi-san."
>Keiichi let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Tom: Keiichi then passed out from oxygen deprivation.

>Belldandy continued.  "But it was not without some cost.  He would not >give us his blessing...not yet. 

Mike: Well, yeah. I mean, that's what the ceremony is for.

>And...he says that my contract with you will have to be broken."
>Keiichi was shocked.  "What?  Why?"

Crow: No pre-nup for you, Keiichi.

>"He says that he does not want us to be bound together by the contract >if we grow apart over the years.  He says that the contract of >marriage will have to hold us together, not anything else. 

Mike: Uh oh. Don't tell half the people in Hollywood that.

>I agree with him, I suppose.

Crow (Keiichi): Well, didn't you argue with him?
Allegra (Belldandy): Argue with God? Angels that do that don't come off so well.
 
>I just...didn't want it put so coldly.  Keiichi, there are many things >we need to discuss.  Kami-sama does not want you to marry me without >realizing everything that goes with it."
>"Like what?"

Allegra (Belldandy): Well, first of all, no sex on Sundays.
Crow (Keiichi): Aw, man!

>"Keiichi, I wanted so much to marry you just as a normal girl would, >with no drawbacks or problems.  

Mike: Belldandy doesn't know much about Earth, does she?

>But it can't work that way.  I *am* a goddess, and that means that our >relationship is going to be put under more strain than the average.  >In heaven..." 

Crow: Heaven is in your eyes.
Mike: Isn't it my blue heaven?
Allegra: No, heaven is a place on earth.
Tom: By the lights of heaven?

>Belldandy paused and looked down.  "In heaven the average relationship >between a mortal and a human lasts only four years.  After that, the >human is usually...killed."

Allegra: Wow! Talk about love hurts!
Tom: But...if you were in heaven, wouldn't that sort of mean you're already, well, dead?

>Keiichi was amazed.  "What!  How is that possible!  I thought you came >from heaven!"
>Belldandy looked up at him again.  "I do, Keiichi.  But heaven is many >things to many people.  It's almost infinite.  My part of heaven, and >that of my sisters, is based on Norn beliefs.  

Mike: It's based on beer?
Crow: No, no, that's Norm beliefs.
Mike: Oh. My mistake.

>They're very different from Shinto or Buddhist beliefs."

Allegra: Let's see...Buddhism believes that each life is another step towards enlightenment. Norse beliefs are that the more people you kill, the easier it is to get to Valhalla. Yeah, I have to agree with Belldandy on this one.

>"But aren't heaven and hell supposed to be good and evil?"
>"In several cases, that is true.  But our aspect of heaven is more >complicated.  It's not a matter of good or evil, it's a matter of >choosing sides.  

Tom: I'm so confused...

>Heaven has many people who make Urd look like an angel. 

Tom: But...but Urd IS an angel! I...you...urk...(begins to smoke)
Crow: Oh no! He's gonna blow!
Mike: Tom! Get hold of your...I mean, calm down! It's just a fic! 
Tom: Just a fic...right...(still smokes a little)

>Many of them will hate you.  Do you think you can live with this, with >the baggage that I bring with me from heaven?"

Mike (Keiichi): Can't you FedEx it?

>Keiichi thought for a few moments.  "I will not give you up.  

Mike: No more 80s song riffs.
Crow: But Mike! That one just screams Rick Astley!
Mike: Let it go, Crow.

>Not now, after all we've been through.  We've been living together for >three years, finding out about each other's likes and dislikes.  I >doubt many other relationship in heaven are the same."

Allegra: Of course, by this heavenly standard, you've got just one more year, Keiichi, then it's all over but the settlement.

>Belldandy gave another one of her beautiful smiles.  

Tom: As opposed to one of her hideous, burn-in-hell smiles.
Crow: Ah, nice to have you back in action, Tommy.

>"Oh, Keiichi-san... thank you.  But is there a reason you wanted to >marry me?  We could still have gone on like we have."
>"No, Belldandy.  

Mike (Keiichi): No reason. Just thought it'd be something to do.
Crow: You notice I didn't mention the "legalized sex" portion of it.
Mike: ...

>With our contract, we had permission from heaven for you to stay with >me.  It could be yanked away at any time, as we found out two years >ago.  But our marriage is more than just a ceremony, it's a promise >between ourselves, and no other party can come between that.  

Allegra: Except maybe the bachelor party, but Belldandy doesn't have to know about that.

>Not your sisters, or Marller...it's between the two of us. That's what >I wanted for us, Belldandy.  Actually, breaking the contract might >have been the best thing that happened.  At least now, we're free to >be married without any strings attached.  I can be sure...that it's >your love that's the reason."

Crow: Mike? No 80s riffs?
Mike: Nope.
Crow: Darn it! That's a-ha right there!

>"Keiichi-san!  Are you saying that you doubted my promise?"

Mike: Uh oh. Their first spat.

>Keiichi felt ashamed.  "It...did occur to me.  But only for a moment. 

Allegra (Belldandy): How long?
Tom (Keiichi): .0084 seconds. For an anime character, that's a long time.

>I do not think that you would willingly do anything to hurt me, >Belldandy.  I'm sorry to have doubted you."
>Belldandy leaned over and took Keiichi in her arms.  "In that case, I >had best erase all doubts from your mind."  

Mike: Uhm, I don't think basing a marriage on mind control is a good idea, Belldandy.

>She began to make a spell behind him as she spoke.  

Allegra: Hopefully it's a "silence" spell.

>"I love you, Keiichi Morisato.  I have always loved you, with all my >heart, ever since we first met... Fourteen years ago."  And with that >Belldandy passed her head over Keiichi's, 

Tom: Bonk!

>bringing his long buried memories to the surface.
>Keiichi cried out, as the memories took hold.  

Crow (Keiichi): Third grade! NOOO!!!

>"Belldandy, I...I remember!  You came to me all those years ago!"
>"Yes, and it was one of my happiest memories. But Kami-sama demanded >that I erase your memories, and so I did.

Allegra (Belldandy): Maybe I overdid it a bit.
Mike (Keiichi): Who are you?

>But as you say, our lives are now our own.  Which means I have the >right to give your past back to you, Keiichi-san.  

Tom: I thought that was Urd's job!
Mike: Tom...
Tom: Right. That way lies madness.

>May our joy be even greater than the joy of our childhood selves."
>And with that, she gave him another long, searching kiss.

Allegra (Belldandy): Why, Keiichi! You DO still have your tonsils!
Mike: Break time.

(Door sequence. Second verse, same as the first.)

 Mike finished putting a new head on Servo. "How's that, Tom?"
 "Much better, Mike. Thanks. The other had gotten too unstable. I'm sorry, Mike..."
 "Ah, don't worry about it." Mike put away the Robot Repair Kit (all rights reserved). The sun had disappeared beneath the terminator, so it was theoretically night again on the SOL. Allegra worked on her second glass of type A positive, playing a quick game of chess with Crow. She moved a rook. "Gotcha," she said. Crow looked at the board and grumbled below the range of hearing.
 Just then, the hexfield viewscreen opened up to reveal Dr. Forrester. "Hello, lab rats! How is it going? Ready to just give up and bow down?"
 "Hah!" Tom shot back. "This one's easy. Throw us a Ratliff or something!"
 "Tom, shut up," Mike said quietly. "Don't encourage him."
 "Reverse psychology," Tom replied in the same tone of voice.
 "Quit whispering," Forrester snapped. "I have microphones in the theater, you know that. You almost lost a head in there, Tom Servo! And you, Allegra, you're really starting to lose it! Reading Hemingway, eh? Upside down and backwards?"
 "It was in Cyrillic," Allegra lied smoothly.
 "It was?" Forrester was taken aback. "Oh. Well, whatever. I can see it in your eyes, my dear. It does kind of hurt to see someone else being loved, doesn't it?" Allegra shrugged as if Forrester was discussing the price of hog lard in upstate Arkansas. "And you, Crow T. Robot! Hard not to go hentai mad, isn't it?"
 Crow glanced at Forrester. "Not really, Doc. You said this was a lemon. Like the Eskimo said to the air conditioner salesman, 'I ain't buying it.'" Noticing that Allegra's attention was diverted, Crow quickly moved his chess pieces around.
 Forrester turned to Mike. "How about you, Mike?"
 "No, sorry, sir. Just a cute little story about a boy and his angel."
 "You think you're so smug!" Forrester exploded. "We'll just see how long all of you last when the big lemon scene comes up! As an old friend of mine once said, pleasure deferred is that much sweeter! Ha ha ha!"
 "Who said that?" Mike asked.
 Forrester thought for a moment. "I can't remember. Some guy with a blue cowl over his head...used to talk about cobras a lot. Anyway, doesn't matter. You got two minutes, then back in the theater!" The viewscreen closed.
 "Checkmate," Crow said.
 Allegra looked at the board, and sighed. "It doesn't matter. Guys, Forrester's right. It does bother me. I...I'm kinda lonely. Most guys won't date me. They sorta sense what I am."
 "Gee, that's too bad," Tom said. "It bothers me, too."
 Crow looked down. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Allegra. I...well, I've been kinda mean. You know, I've really had some great ideas for hentai jokes, but since I'm trying to quit...it's just so tough..."
  Mike slammed down his coffee mug. "Men! Er...men and token female! We can't give up now! We've never been beaten before!" A spotlight fell on Mike. "Thanks, Cambot. Anyway, we have a responsibility to the world! We can't let Dr. F win! C'mon!" Mike whacked a fist into his hand. "None of us can save the world by ourselves, but together we can do anything! We cannot be fingers, we must be a fist!"
 Allegra applauded. "Mike's right! We can't let this beat us!"
 Tom nodded vigorously, jetting up and down. "Bravo, Mike! Bravo! We're with you!"
 Crow nodded as well. "Right on, Mike! I'm the middle finger!"
 The klaxons and alarms went off. The four piled hands (Mike helping Tom). "IT'S FANFIC SIGN! BREAK!"

(Door sequence. All fired up now?)

(Everyone takes their seats, chanting 'Go Wisconsin')

>Urd sat up on the roof, trying not to fall off.  

Allegra (Urd): How the hell did I get up here?

>She was extremely drunk by now, and was finally getting to the point >of being happy drunk as opposed to depressed drunk.  This meant that >at the moment, she was singing at the top of her lungs.

All: "And he got hit with a bucket of...SHAAAAVING CREAM! Be nice and clean..."

>"And I just hope that you can forgive us, 'cause everything must go!"

Crow: Everything But the Girl.

>Urd was interrupted by a flash 

All: AH-AH!
Mike: He saves every one of us!

>from another part of the roof.  When she turned, there was a tall >figure, shadow hiding most of his face, standing there.  Urd >recognized him immediately.

Tom (Urd): Captain Harlock!

>"Hiya, Odin!  Come to join the party?  Have a bottle!"  Urd reached >for a bottle that she had long since dropped.
>"Urd, I may be here on earth, but please do not believe that that >gives you the right to treat me like any other god!"

Mike: Answers that old question as to whether or not God is one of us.
Crow: Mike! No 80s riffs!
Mike: That was a 90s song.
Crow: Damn.

>Urd sobered up instantly.  

Allegra: Drunk and disorderly in front of God. Is that a capital offense?

>"Sorry, Kami-sama.  Why're you down here?" A cold thought passed >through her mind.  "Hey, you're not gonna stop Keiichi and sister from >getting married, are you?  They deserve this, dammit!"

Mike (Kami-sama): Speaking of 'damned,' Urd...

>Kami-sama looked at her sympathetically.  "No, Urd.  What they decide >to do is their business, as I told them this morning.  No, Urd, you >are the one I came to see."

Crow and Tom: Urd is in trouble! Urd is in trouble!

>Urd thought for a moment.  What had she done lately?  Any major world >disasters?  Any destroyed buildings?  She hadn't even cooked up a love >potion lately.  

Crow: Snicker. Hey, Tom, remember that love popcorn?
Tom: Oh, yeah. Man, that was bad.
Mike: What? When was this?
Crow: Before your time, Nelson.

>"Sorry, sir, but I can't think why.  Things have been really quiet >around here."
>"Yes, I know.  That's the reason I came down here.  

Mike (Kami-sama): It's got to stop. Tokyo not being blown up? I'm not ready to end the world just yet.

>You've been good for quite some time now, an unusual feat.  You've >used up all of your suspensions."
>Urd sat there, utterly amazed.  "Kami-sama, what are you saying?"
>"I'm saying that as of this moment, Urd, all suspensions and warnings >against you are dropped, and your goddess status is once again >restored.  

Tom (Kami-sama): By an act of me!

>You can even come back to heaven if you like."
>Urd was speechless.  

Allegra: There's a first.

>"I...thank you, Kami-sama.  I don't know what to say."
>"You earned it, Urd.  Don't believe otherwise.  Frankly, I can't help >but wonder why you've managed to turn around in such a short time."

Tom: Urd even confounds the omniscient and omnipotent.

>Urd frowned inwardly, but didn't show it.  "Yeah, that is a puzzle. 

Allegra: And puzzleboxes are sealed for a reason.

>Anyway, thanks again.  I'll probably come back up for a visit pretty >soon."
>"No problem, Urd.  I know I haven't said this a lot, but I'm looking >forward to seeing you again."  

Mike (Kami-sama): My Self, what I am I saying?

>And with that, Kami-sama vanished in a cloud of whiteness.

Crow: I see that Frank's been editing this again. Look at all the white out on the screen.

>After being sure that he was gone, Urd once again sank to the roof. 

Tom: Of course, God can always see you, Urd...

>She knew why she'd been so good lately.  She'd spent all her time up >here, getting depressed and feeling sorry for herself.  And now she >was being praised for that?

Mike: You know the old saying that God rides in the hip pockets of fools and drunks.

>Without realizing it, Urd raised another bottle to her lips, and began >the task of getting seriously drunk. Again.

Allegra: You mean to say she was just casually drinking before?

>***

Crow (Keiichi): How many fingers am I holding up, Urd?
Allegra (Urd): Thirty-three! Hic!

>The next couple of weeks were a flurry of activity, as the date for >the wedding drew nearer.

>***

Mike: What the heck was that? One sentence? That's it?

>"Me?  But why me?"

Tom: Because you wrote it, Tim!

>"Because Urd won't do it.  She says that if they called her a maid of >honor, it would besmirch her character.

Crow: And she might burst into flame crossing the threshhold of the church.

>So she suggested you instead."

Allegra (Belldandy): So will you do it, Ryoko?

>"I'll besmirch her!  She's just insulting me again!"
>"Does that mean you won't do it, Skuld?"  Belldandy looked pensively >at her sister.
>Skuld thought for a moment.  

Tom: Abort, Retry, Fail?

>"No, of course I'll be your maid of honor, sister.  I was >just...thinking of something else."

Allegra (Skuld): Kenji in Speedos. But that's not important now.

>Belldandy smiled quietly to herself.  "Thank you, Skuld.  Have you >invited Kenji to the wedding yet?"
>Skuld smirked.  "Don't need to.  Keiichi is making him his best man. 

Crow (Boss Grissom): And you...ahhhh...are my number one...ahhh...uh, guy.

>I heard that Tamiya threw a fit when he found out!"

Mike (Tamiya): Waah! I wanted to be best man! Mine! Mine! Mine!

>"Oh, well.  Someone was bound to be disappointed.  Speaking of which, >I'm going out now, Skuld.  I could be some time."
>"Jeez!  Are you going to a battle?"

Allegra (Belldandy): Yes, Keiichi said it was him and me against the world. I've decided to launch a preemptive attack.

>"In a sense.  I'm meeting with Keiichi's parents.  He's going to tell >them about the wedding."

(All begin humming "Taps")

>***
>"Mother, Father, 

All: "Here I am at/Camp Granada..."

>you've met Belldandy a few times."

Tom (Keiichi): So put the guns away.

>"Yes, hello, Belldandy, how are you?" Keiichi's father was smiling >kindly.
>"Very well, thank you, sir."
>Belldandy looked at Keiichi's mother.  

Allegra (Belldandy): Mrs. Morisato, a crucifix is hardly going to work on me.

>She was met with a cold stare. Then, not even acknowledging Belldandy, >she turned to her son.
>"And why have you brought her here?  

Crow (Keiichi): To torment you, Mom!

>You know how I feel about her, and yet you choose to flaunt her in my >face?  

Crow (Keiichi): Bingo!

>Is that any way a son should treat his mother?

Crow (Keiichi): You're not my real mother!
Mike: Well done, Crow.
Crow: Thank you, thank you...

>Keiichi, surprisingly, showed no outward reaction at all, except for >tightening his grip on Belldandy's hand.  

Tom (Keiichi): For those insults, you shall die, mother. 

>"I've come here to inform you both of something.  Belldandy and I are >going to be married next week."

(Crow does a very convincing impression of a falling bomb.)

>Keiichi's mother fell silent, and you could see the veins bulging out >on her head.  

Allegra: Huh. Sure enough.
Mike: Really? Where?
Allegra: See those little cross-thingies on her forehead?
Mike: So that's what those are!

>Keiichi's father was a little more vocal.

Tom (Mr. Morisato): Da' hell?

>"Next week?  Are you sure about this, son?  It all seems a little >sudden."
>"Belldandy and I have been seeing each other for three years.  In that >time, we've both come to love and trust each other, even with our >lives. I don't take this decision lightly, father.  This is something >I've thought about for a long time.  Please, give me your support."

Crow: Because a goddess is a terrible thing to waste.

>Belldandy could not get over how calm her fiancé was.  

Allegra: It's always calm...just before the tornado hits.

>Keiichi's normal reaction around his mother, much like his father, was >to acquiesce to her demands, fearing the response they might trigger.  >The last time Belldandy had met them, it had taken Megumi, who took >after her mother more, to defuse the situation.

Tom (City Hunter): Cut the nookie blue wire!
Crow: Nookie never lies!

>But Keiichi was more determined than Belldandy had ever seen him.  He >didn't take his eyes off his father during his whole speech.

Allegra: That's right, Keiichi. Bend him to your will! Just keep eye contact!
(Mike looks at Allegra, then hurriedly looks back to the screen.)

>His father seemed to sense it, as well.  

Tom (Mr. Morisato): Must...obey...

>He then turned and gave Belldandy an appraising look.  "Well, I can't >say I've had any problems the few times I've seen Belldandy.  

Allegra (Mr. Morisato): Good legs, nice rack, firm butt...okay, son, good choice!
Mike: Allegra...
Allegra: Well, that's what my dad's like.

>I don't see why -- "
>"Are you mad!  

Crow (Terry-Thomas): Stark raving mad!

>There is no way I'm allowing my son to marry that foreign slut!  She's >just trying to use him, you can see it in her eyes!"

Tom: No, that's just anime-style starry stuff.

>Belldandy felt like crying.  To be hated by someone this close to >Keiichi broke her up inside, and she felt like crying.

Crow: We have now established that Belldandy wants to cry. No further questions, your Honor.

>Keiichi noticed this as well.  Letting go of her hand, he walked right >up to his mother, staring into her eyes.  

Tom (Keiichi): If it worked on Dad, it'll work on you!

>"I am going to marry Belldandy. I can do it with or without you >blessing.  I would rather have it.  But if you insist on talking about >the woman I love that way, then not only will I walk out of here right >now, but you will not be welcome at the wedding.  And from that day >forth, you will have to live with the fact that you weren't present at >the most important day of my life.  Do you really hate Belldandy so >much that you're willing to go that far?"

Mike: You tell 'em, Keiichi!
Tom: Keiichi's da man.
Allegra: How can you not love a guy like that?
Crow: You just go on with your bad self, Keiichi!

>Belldandy stared in amazement at Keiichi.  She could not believe what >she was hearing.  Keiichi loved her so much that he was willing to >abandon his own mother?

Crow: You listen to his mother? Who wouldn't?

>Keiichi's mother stood stock still. 

Allegra: All right! Kami-sama turned her into a pillar of salt!

>For a moment, she stared right back into Keiichi's eyes, daring him to >look away.  Then she saw that he was not going to.
>"But...you can't do this.  You *can't*.  You're my baby..."
>"I am *not* your baby!"  Keiichi was shouting now. 

Mike (Keiichi): You adopted me! Admit it!

>"You've coddled me through my entire life!  You don't have any >problems with Megumi doing what she wants, why me?  Why can't you >accept the fact that I'm capable of my own choices!  

Tom: Well, there was the little matter of blowing up your dorm...

>I am marrying Belldandy!"
>Keiichi's mother looked down and began to cry, silently.  But even >this did not faze Keiichi.  Finally, without looking up, she said, "Do >what you want."

Crow: Brrr.

>Keiichi looked sadly at her for a moment, then turned to his father. >"I hope that we can see both of you at the wedding."

Allegra: Boiled.

>Keiichi's father smiled.  "Of course.  We're your parents, after all. >I hope that you and Belldandy will be very happy together."
>And with that, he took his wife into the other room, leaving the young >couple standing alone.
>"Keiichi-san, I can't believe you did that!  She's your mother!"

Crow: She's a mother something, all right.

>"Belldandy, she's been treating me like this since I went off to >college!  

Mike (Keiichi): The diapers for Christmas was the last straw!

>She's got to come to terms with it sometime!  Until now, I've just let >her walk all over me.  

Tom (Keiichi): See? Look at these marks on my face!
Allegra (Belldandy): What did she use? Cleats?

>Maybe...maybe I didn't have anything worth fighting for then."
>"Oh, Keiichi-san..."  Belldandy gave him a quick peck on the cheek. >"Thank you for doing this for me."

Allegra (Belldandy): Shall we level the house, sweetie?

>"I did it for us, Belldandy," Keiichi said, smiling at her.

Crow (Keiichi): Get it right, woman!

>***
>"Hey, MORISATO!!!"

All: WHAAAT?!!

>Keiichi sighed. Tamiya. Looked like the whole motor club was with him.  

Tom (Tamiya): You WILL join Triple-A!

>"What do you want, sempai?  It's the night before my wedding, and I >really need to get prepared."

Mike (Keiichi): Now go away. I'm playing Ultima.

>Ootaki smirked.  "That's right, Morisato.  It is the night before your >wedding.  And I think we all know what that means..."

Crow (Ootaki): Try not to barf on the bride, okay?

>A cry arose from the throng.  "BACHELOR PARTY!!!"

Crow: Hot damn! Some excitement, finally!

>Keiichi was appalled.  "Oh, no!  I don't have time for any of your >stupid parties!  I want to live to see my wedding day!"
>"Don't be silly, Morisato!  

Tom (Tamiya): Bring out the one-man gas chamber!

>Of course you want a bachelor party!  It's the last chance to sow your >wild oats!"
>Keiichi frowned.  "I don't have any wild oats."

Mike (Keiichi): I'm not a horse, dammit!

>Tamiya wouldn't be put off by that.  "Then we'll just have to grab you >some along the way!  GRAB HIM!"
>Keiichi was dragged, kicking and screaming, into Tamiya's van, which >took off for parts unknown.

Allegra: Y'know, that's called kidnapping.

>At this time,  Belldandy came out from the kitchen.  "Keiichi-san?" >she asked.  Seeing him being carried off by Tamiya, she said, "Oh, it >must be a party!  Well, his friends will take care of him."  And >humming, she went back into the house.

Crow: She's not firing on all eight cylinders, is she?

>***
>The morning of his wedding dawned slowly for Keiichi. There seemed to >be a light burning into his eyes, 

Mike (FBI agent): Where were you on the night of October 31st?

>and he was lying on something incredibly uncomfortable.

Allegra: Well, get up, stupid.

>Suddenly, memory of last night came to him.  

Tom (Keiichi): Ryo-ohki! NOOO!!!

>In a flash, he sat up, and realized three things.  

Mike: His name, his quest, and his favorite color.

>He was in the flatbed of a pickup truck, it was in the middle of >nowhere, and he was stark naked.  

Crow: Aw, gross!
Allegra: Aw, kewl!

>Keiichi quickly assessed his situation.
>"Well, shit."

Mike: Pretty much sums it up.

>***
>The temple was awash with activity.  Urd was running around, making >sure everything was all right.  

Allegra: I'm kind of surprised Urd's not awash with booze.

>No way that her sister's wedding would have anything go wrong with it.
>"Has anyone seen Keiichi?" asked Megumi, already in her dress.

Tom (Megumi): I need him to take this in!

>As if on cue, 

Mike: Or by the power of the script...

>Keiichi stormed into the house, dressed in a pair of overalls he had >found in the toolkit.  "Urd, do me a favor?  Find Tamiya, and make him >itch for the next week?"

Crow (Keiichi): Preferably in the groin area. Oh, and in the small of his back, where he can't get to it.

>"No problem, Keiichi.  You got three minutes to get dressed, you >know."
>"AAAIGGH!"  Keiichi shot into his room.  The others giggled.
>"Hey, Urd.  Why is this a western wedding, anyway?" said Megumi.

Allegra (Urd as John Wayne): You gotta problem with that, pilgrim?

>"Well, Kami-sama felt uncomfortable with Belldandy getting married in >a Shinto ceremony. 'Cutting into other people's territory', I believe >he said."
>"Well, let's hope that that's the last thing to go wrong today."

Tom (Megumi): By the way, the priest officiating today is Nicholas Wolfwood. Is that a problem?

>***
>"Belldandy?"
>Belldandy froze as she put the finishing touches on her makeup.  >Feeling very cold, she turned around.

Crow: By the burning of my tongue, something wicked this way comes.

>Keiichi's mother stood in the doorway.  

Crow: I was right!

>She was dressed in a rather severe dress, and the effect was that of a >very traditional Japanese wife.  Belldandy wondered whether she >normally dressed like this, or if it was a statement regarding the >wedding not being Shinto.

Allegra (Belldandy): Mrs. Morisato...you might want to loosen your obi before you pass out.

>"Hello, Mrs. Morisato.  What...what can I do for you?"  Belldandy >forced the words out of her throat.  She wished with all her heart >that Keiichi was here now.

Mike: Prepare for battle!

>"I just wanted to see you to congratulate you.  You've gotten what you >want.  You're marrying my boy...my *son*, I'm sorry.  I hope you're >happy."

Crow (Mrs. Morisato): Here's a guilt trip for two.

>Belldandy took her courage in her hands 

Tom: Chambered a round in it...

>and answered.  "Yes, I am very happy, but not because I've defeated >you in any way.  Why do you dislike me so much?  Is it because I'm not >Japanese?  I can't help where I come from any more than I can control >the whims of my heart. My sister says that I act too much like the >stereotypical Japanese wife.  I won't embarrass Keiichi, or make him >unhappy.  Why do you hate me?"

Allegra (Mrs. Morisato): That's why! You realize what you're doing to Japanese women's rights? Quit acting like a slave!

>The response was immediate.  "Because you're taking away my son!  I've >raised him for twenty years, and now he's gone and fallen in love with >you!  

Mike: I think Mrs. Morisato needs help.

>Do you realize, from the moment you entered my life, he only calls >once a month?  

Tom: I don't think that's the reason why, Mrs. Morisato. It starts with B and rhymes with 'witchiness'.

>He never comes by to see us, oh no, he's too busy "studying" with you!  

Crow (Mrs. Morisato): Just what does he study with you, anyway?
Allegra (Belldandy): Anatomy and the Braille system, why?

>You say he has his own life now, but that's not true -- he has yours.  >That is why I do not like you."
>Belldandy stared in shock.  

Tom: Belldandy, take your finger OUT of the socket...

>She had no idea that her presence had caused *so* great an effect.  

Mike: It didn't. She's just nuts.

>She took time to phrase her answer; if she got this wrong, there would >be no reconciliation between Keiichi and his mother.  And that was >something Belldandy would never forgive herself for.
>"Mrs. Morisato, you've got it backwards!  

Allegra (Belldandy): It's 'Sruoy sah eh--eurt ton s'taht tub, won eifl nwo sah eh yas uoy!'
Crow: How in the hell did you do that?
Allegra: Trade secret.

>I don't run Keiichi's life! Everything I do, every day I get up, 

Mike (Belldandy): I help him put on his underwear, I brush his teeth, and I make sure he catches the bus! That's it!

>is for Keiichi!  He has his own life, not mine at all, I can assure >you. As for not calling home, well, 

Tom (Belldandy): Skuld was on the internet all the time!

>every time he did you told him that I was a horrible woman! After a >while, he got tired of it!"  She was starting to lose it now; 

Allegra: Go for it, Bell! Wolf out!

>she pulled back.  "Mrs. Morisato, we've only really met a couple of >times.  I know that you can't trust me yet.  But please give me a >chance.  Keiichi loves you, you're his mother, and seeing the two of >you torn apart because of me would break my heart!  Please, for >Keiichi's sake, not for mine."
>There was another long pause.  "There can be nothing I can say to make >you change your mind about this marriage."

Mike (Mrs. Morisato): How about money?
Crow (Belldandy): How much?

>"No.  I will marry Keiichi, and be with him as long as he needs me. I >have to.  

Allegra (Belldandy): Says so in my contract.
Tom (Mrs. Morisato): With Kami-sama?
Allegra (Belldandy): No, with AnimEigo. 

>Moreover, I want to."
>Keiichi's mother sighed.  "Very well.  I can't say as I approve yet, >but I won't stop it.  

Tom (Belldandy): Good! Now I don't have to fry you.

>At least you're firm about it.  

Crow: In more than one way.

>Until recently, I never thought my son would talk to me the way he did >last week. Maybe he has finally grown up.  

Mike: No thanks to you!

>Good luck to you, Belldandy."
>Belldandy smiled.  "Thank you, Mrs. Morisato."
>And with that, Keiichi's mother walked out the door.  

Allegra: And out of our lives forever.
Crow: Good.

>Belldandy immediately collapsed on the chair, feeling the adrenaline >after a major battle.  Suddenly, the day had gotten even better.
>***
>The ceremony itself.  

Crow: Dum dum dum!

>Keiichi stood quietly, not doing anything but looking at Belldandy.  >He was crossing every digit he had; he kept expecting something to go >wrong.

Allegra: Nah. This is "Ah My Goddess," not "Tenchi Muyo."

>"Do you, Keiichi Morisato, take this woman as your lawfully wedded >wife, 

All: HELL YEAH!
Mike: Wait, wait, there's more...

>to love, honor, and cherish, to have and to hold, in sickness and in >health, 

Tom: Not to blast her into space, at least until you grow weary of her?

>as long as you both shall live?"

Mike (Keiichi): I don't know. Belldandy's immortal, that's a pretty long time.

>Keiichi was amazed that they had gotten that far.  Nonetheless, he >didn't even pause.  "I do."

Crow (priest): Great! Next!

>"And do you, Belldandy, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, >to love, honor, and cherish, to have and to hold, in sickness and in >health, as long as you both shall live?"

Tom (Sheriff of Nottingham): Yes, of course she does!

>Belldandy smiled.  

Allegra (Belldandy): Maybe I should say no just to see what would happen.

>She had called in every favor she had to ensure that nothing would go >wrong today. 

Mike: Kiki was delivering the cakes, the Sailor Scouts were patrolling the grounds, and Go Mifune was the limo driver.
Tom: Mike! I'm impressed!
Mike: After hearing you, Crow, and Allegra comparing anime, I should know something by now.

>Marller was trapped in a logic puzzle that would take her days to >figure out, 

Allegra: Oh, Marller's watching "Perfect Blue."

>and Kami-sama was making sure that the less...moral of heaven's >company were staying out of the way.  And now her dream was coming >true.  "I do."
>"Then, by the authority vested in me, 

Mike (JW Pepper): I do confiscate this ve-hicle and all occupants within. And that means yew, smart ass! (as himself) Top that one, boys and girl!

>I now pronounce you husband and wife.  

Crow (priest): Or something.

>You may kiss the bride."
>Keiichi looked at his goddess...no, last time he called her that.  He >looked at his *wife* with more love than he thought he could possibly >hold.  

Mike: Allegra? Do you cry at weddings?
Allegra: Who, me? I didn't cry at the ending of "Old Yeller."
Crow: Betcha you cried at the ending of "Titanic."
Allegra: Oh, shut up.

>She looked back at him with equal love in her heart.  As he lifted her >veil and kissed her, the last of his fears left him.
>***

Mike: Aww...Keiichi kissed her so hard Belldandy saw stars.
Tom (priest): I said, you may kiss the bride, not devour her!
Crow: Yeah! That comes later!

>Skuld sat in a corner, watching the couples dance after the wedding. >She had tried to dance, but there was a really complicated waltz going >on, and she couldn't follow it.  

All: "Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda..."

>She came over here and sat, out of the way of any others.

Allegra (Skuld): Nobody likes me! Waah!

>She stared at the bouquet in her hands.  She couldn't believe that >Belldandy would do this to her. Especially since...

Crow: It was poison ivy.

>Skuld blushed. She knew the custom, and didn't care to think of it.
>"Skuld?  Are you all right?"
>Skuld looked up, her heart leaping as it always did.  

Tom: Maybe she should invent a pacemaker.

>"I'm fine, Kenji. It's just...a really big day.  I mean, nothing's >going to be the same around here."

Allegra (Skuld): I mean, what kinda freaks are their kids gonna be like?

>"Well, people change.  Keiichi and Belldandy were ready to get >married. And I don't think I've ever seen two happier people."
>Skuld couldn't hold it in any more.  "Kenji...

Mike (Skuld): I have really got to pee. Where's the bathroom?

>do you think we'll ever have a moment like that?  Have you ever >thought about it."
>There was a long pause.  "All the time," Kenji finally answered.

Crow: Kenji, you need a hobby.

>"I told you I'm the goddess of the future, Kenji.  

Tom: But she's a goddess now! How can she be the goddess of the future and then be a goddess now? Paradox! How? HOW? 
(Mike, Allegra, and Crow duck.)
Tom: Scared you, didn't I?
Mike: That's not funny!

>Well, there are many problems that follow worth that.  If I >concentrate, I can see futures flaring out around me.  All different >kinds, depending on what choices people make. 

Allegra: Wow. No wonder she carries a mallet.

>I see us doing this in one of the futures... but I also see us >parting."
>"Which choices do we make for each future?"  Kenji was almost >whispering.

Mike: No fate but what we make.

>"I don't know.  I can't see the actions, just the consequences.  

Crow: Some goddess of the future you are!

>Kenji, I'm scared.  I don't want to lose this...lose you.  I like what >we have.  This is the first time that the future has ever scared me. >What do we do?"

(Two shadow girls appear, saying "What do we do? What do we do?")
Allegra: Neat trick, huh? I picked that up at some academy or other.

>Kenji looked at her.  "There doesn't seem to be anything we can do, >Skuld, except try to live our lives as best we can.  We can't go >second guessing every decision we make, or our relationship might >really suffer."

(Mike begins writing on a notepad.)
Tom: Mike? What're you doing?
Mike: Writing down this stuff for the next time I go on a date, when and if we ever get down from here.

>Skuld looked at him closely.  "You're right.  We can't be afraid of >the consequences.  

Crow: Truth or Consequences!

>We have to take each moment as it comes."  And with that, she put her >arms around Kenji and kissed him. It was a first kiss for both of >them, but any lack of experience was more than made up for by the >emotions in the participants.

Allegra: It was very nice until Kenji's bottom lip got hung up in Skuld's braces.

>After a short time, they stopped, and looked at each other.  Both had >turned interesting shades of red.

Tom (Daffy Duck): MAKEUP!!

>"Hey, you two!  

Crow: "I was once like you/And I like to do the Wild Thing!"

>It's time for the toast!"

Mike: They look pretty toasty already to me.

>Urd broke them out of their reverie.  They both snapped away from each >other, 

Allegra: Owtch!

>and headed for the reception hall.  Megumi stood at the head, a glass >of champagne in her hand.
>"A toast, everyone.  

(Everyone throws toast at the screen.)

>To the future of Keiichi and Belldandy Morisato. May their happiness >never end!"

Mike: And they lived happily ever after.
Crow: Yeah, right.

>As Skuld and Kenji picked up their glasses, they looked at each other, >and quietly echoed the toast.
>"To the future."

Tom (Joker): Think about the future!
Mike: Hey, fic's over!
Allegra: WHAT?
Mike: Not again...
Allegra: Damn skippy, not again! What about the honeymoon? Huh? Huh?
Crow: I gotta go with Ms. Happy Fangs here. Dr. F kept saying this was a lemon, and we've got all these great lemon riffs set up, and nothing. Blah.
Allegra: "Happy Fangs?"
Tom: Guys, I bet there's a third part. This is too easy.
Mike: Well, we'll take a break while Frank's setting up the next part.

(I see in your future...Part Three. Keep going, pal. Nothing to see here. Move along.)